Zainab Bawa’s Blog

6 ^th May 2005

I crossed the road from Pizzeria and landed on the Marine Drive promenade. Upon landing there, the first person I noticed was Santosh Yadavji. “What about your job? I thought you had gone there forever,” I said gleaming with joy. “No, I did not like it there,” Yadavji started saying, “ Bombay is not a city to do jobs. I like the work that I do.” Yadavji has now switched to selling chana zor garam and has handed over the previous business to his cousin. I was really happy to see him back and almost skipped and hopped my way to NCPA where I was to attend a talk on documenting the city.

I landed at the NCPA’s AV room. Jerry Pinto and Chirodeep were to speak on Chirodeep’s photo documentation of the city. Sitting there, I began to wonder what documenting the city actually means and whether documenting the city is the same as saying ‘branding a place’??? I believe to each, the city is a personal experience and each documents the city in his/her own way – consciously and unconsciously. Yet, is there an importance to formal processes of documentation? If yes, what is the importance?

The AV room had a kind of audience, a kind of public. My mind wandered to the promenade, thinking about the public there, outside, and the public here, inside. The presentation was interesting as I watched the pictures Chiro had taken to express his relationship and understanding with the city. Some of the photos of the promenade were lovely. I am confirming my belief that the sea in Mumbai plays a critical role in enabling us to maintain our sanity – our emotions and relationships! Sea and romance, sea and parenting – these are the various aspects of our life where the water bodies play a crucial role.

After the talk, I ran out towards the promenade and a completely wonderful sense of joy and mirth overtook me. I was walking and as usual, I came across Mr. Thakkar. Mr. Thakkar is a jogger at the promenade. He has been a regular at the promenade since fifteen years. Perhaps when you look at him, you are most likely, just like me, to mark him as a resident of Marine Drive . But he is not. Mr. Thakkar don’t understand English. He and I chat in Gujarati. Every time I converse with him, I try to tune my brain towards thinking and expressing in a different language. Mr. Thakkar and I have now known each other since three weeks. “You look very happy today,” he said to me. “I am always happy,” I responded. “Yeah, that’s right. You are always happy. That’s a gift to have. You have been researching on this promenade for sometime now, you must know why you are always happy and why people around, inspite of having cars worth fifty lakh rupees, are not happy. Tell me,” he started saying to me. “I meet wonderful people like yourself everyday and hence I am happy each day,” I responded. “People like me?” he asked. “Yes. And even if a person is good or bad, who am I to judge him or her? If I can accept and move on, then that’s fine!” I concluded.

Mr. Thakkar and I kept walking. I think he likes to talk with me. After a point, he took leave and began jogging. He is a simple and unpretentious man. And very straightforward too. And he is also funny!

I walked ahead and saw Shah Rukh. Suddenly I felt like drinking the “toffee coffee” he sells. Now, the taste of the coffee which Shah Rukh sells is like the candy Coffee Bite. Shah Rukh had cropped his hair. “I have even bought new sandals,” he said to me when I inquired about his hair cut. We spoke a little and he went ahead.

I sat on the wall and began sipping coffee. Fireworks were going on in the distance. And I started thinking about joy and happiness. Back in the AV Room of the NCPA, I sensed pretense and the tension to put on surfaces, all for existence. Are we afraid of our selves – of our true selves? Are we afraid of revealing our true selves? What is research about? Invariably, I am dabbling into questions of life as I research the city. And today, while sitting on the ledge, I realized that I am not researching the city – I am only reconnecting with myself and understanding the habitat from which I draw my survival. As I encounter people who have no time for pretense and who are simple themselves, I am getting transformed into a transparent being. The joy in me comes from the relationships which I have outside and from the simplicity of each of these relationships!

As the firecrackers cackled outside, in the sky above, I drew serenity and happiness from the silent waters of the sea. Each moment is then as temporary as the wave which then dies down as it lashes against the tetrapods (replaced by the lovely rocks in the sea)! And that is what existence is about …

(This blog post dedicated to Naresh Fernandes! Thanks for the invite yesterday!)

zainab xanga